A SIMPLE LETTER

Some good friends of ours moved back to England recently.  It’s taken them forever to get in touch – it took them two weeks to get a phone line sorted, and they are still waiting for their broadband.  So when my husband’s birthday card from them arrived a week or so ago, he came in with a huge smile on his face.  The card had included a letter, in beautiful handwriting and full of our friends’ latest news.  My husband held the letter up as if it was some sort of precious antique – which in some ways I suppose it was!  When he’d finished reading it, he gave it to me, and once I’d finished it, he read it again.  It was great to hear their news, but it was even better to think that they had gone to the time and trouble to pen a letter.

Soon our friends will be back online, and doubtless we shall be back in contact with them via Facebook, Skype and email … and most definitely not by post!  And yet that old-fashioned method of communication had meant much more than an email or Skype call.  It struck me that in the rush of modern-day living, we seem to have forgotten that sometimes the old ways are still as wonderful and valid as they ever were.    

We rush everywhere looking for the latest gadget or form of entertainment, forgetting the fun and sociability of a board game or game of cards.  We buy expensive, pre-packaged fruit from the supermarket rather than picking our own blackberries.  If we go for a walk in nature, we probably listen to music on our headphones, rather than to the sounds of the countryside.  If we are sick, we want a pill that will make us better quickly, rather than relying on those old staples of rest and sleep. 

Of course, not everything about the past is red and rosy: but it is a great loss if we forget many of the better aspects of the old ways. So why not surprise a loved one or close friend, and send them a handwritten letter?  Who knows – you might even get the pleasure of receiving a letter back! 

THAT’S THE SPIRIT!

A few weeks ago, I wrote that to enjoy true health and well-being, we need to balance the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of our bodies.  I have written extensively about the first three aspects, but our spiritual health is a much more emotive, profound and controversial subject.  The idea that there is a link between our spiritual health and our physical well-being is a very old one, but nowadays it is not always recognised.  Indeed, many people in today’s society have no time whatsoever for their spiritual side.

To develop our spiritual health, we first need to recognise that we are spiritual beings, and then spend some time thinking about what this means.  Of course, the established Church can and does give us excellent guidance on this subject, but there are other approaches, beliefs and faiths.  There is much we can learn if we are open to and willing to listen to the ideas of people who have different beliefs to our own.

If you believe that we are beings that have a body and soul, then it is important to attend to the well-being of both.  But it is a sad fact that for many in today’s million miles per hour world, there is no place for meditation, quiet contemplation and prayer.  We spend every waking moment bombarded by sounds which drown out the inner, quiet voice of serenity, peace and knowledge.  Yet the beautiful, soothing, comforting power of that whisper-soft voice is present in all of us, if only we took the time to listen to it.

There is more.  If we are in touch with our spiritual side, we become more comfortable with other aspects of our soul, such as what happens when we are ill or when we die.

The importance of our spiritual health is the topic of my next positive living workshop “Dying to live: our soul’s transition” on Thursday 25^th October from 8.00 – 9.30 pm at the Edmund Rice Centre, Barrack St, Waterford, cost €10.  I will be running the workshop with my husband Jerry, who will cover how the ancient religion of Shamanism sees the division of body and soul.  It promises to be a fascinating workshop!  No need to book – simply turn up on the night.  See www.bredgardner.com for more details, or call 087 2025753.

REAL-ATIONSHIPS!

 Are you someone who likes to be with yourself?  Do you enjoy your own thoughts?  Do you laugh with yourself?  Do you love your body?  Are you content with yourself?  The way you feel about yourself is one of the most important things in your life, because if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, then how can you have a good one with someone else?

Author Louise Hay says “If I don’t love myself, I will always be looking for someone else to complete me, to make me happy, to fulfil my dreams.”  Indeed, many would claim that being “needy” is the best way to attract an unsuccessful relationship.  As Dr Wayne Dyer says, you want to really be happy before you enter a relationship!

Life is a mirror.  What we attract always mirrors those qualities or beliefs we have about ourselves and our relationships.  In her beautiful book “Living in the Light” Shakti Gawain states:

“If you judge and criticise yourself, others will judge and criticise you.

If you hurt yourself, others will hurt you.

If you lie to yourself, others will lie to you.

If you are irresponsible to yourself, others will be irresponsible in relation to you.

If you blame yourself, others will blame you.

If you don’t listen to your feelings, no-one will listen to your feelings.”

But conversely:

“If you love yourself, others will love you

If you respect yourself, others will respect you.

If you trust yourself, others will trust you.

If you are honest with yourself, others will be honest with you.

If you appreciate yourself, others will appreciate you.”

Change happens not by trying to make ourselves change, but by becoming conscious of what is not working in our lives.  This often means developing a greater awareness of what we think about ourselves.  Because when we have a strong relationship with ourselves, we can improve – indeed even mend - relationships with all those around us: our family, our friends and our colleagues.