A SIMPLE LETTER

Some good friends of ours moved back to England recently.  It’s taken them forever to get in touch – it took them two weeks to get a phone line sorted, and they are still waiting for their broadband.  So when my husband’s birthday card from them arrived a week or so ago, he came in with a huge smile on his face.  The card had included a letter, in beautiful handwriting and full of our friends’ latest news.  My husband held the letter up as if it was some sort of precious antique – which in some ways I suppose it was!  When he’d finished reading it, he gave it to me, and once I’d finished it, he read it again.  It was great to hear their news, but it was even better to think that they had gone to the time and trouble to pen a letter.

Soon our friends will be back online, and doubtless we shall be back in contact with them via Facebook, Skype and email … and most definitely not by post!  And yet that old-fashioned method of communication had meant much more than an email or Skype call.  It struck me that in the rush of modern-day living, we seem to have forgotten that sometimes the old ways are still as wonderful and valid as they ever were.    

We rush everywhere looking for the latest gadget or form of entertainment, forgetting the fun and sociability of a board game or game of cards.  We buy expensive, pre-packaged fruit from the supermarket rather than picking our own blackberries.  If we go for a walk in nature, we probably listen to music on our headphones, rather than to the sounds of the countryside.  If we are sick, we want a pill that will make us better quickly, rather than relying on those old staples of rest and sleep. 

Of course, not everything about the past is red and rosy: but it is a great loss if we forget many of the better aspects of the old ways. So why not surprise a loved one or close friend, and send them a handwritten letter?  Who knows – you might even get the pleasure of receiving a letter back! 

THAT’S THE SPIRIT!

A few weeks ago, I wrote that to enjoy true health and well-being, we need to balance the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of our bodies.  I have written extensively about the first three aspects, but our spiritual health is a much more emotive, profound and controversial subject.  The idea that there is a link between our spiritual health and our physical well-being is a very old one, but nowadays it is not always recognised.  Indeed, many people in today’s society have no time whatsoever for their spiritual side.

To develop our spiritual health, we first need to recognise that we are spiritual beings, and then spend some time thinking about what this means.  Of course, the established Church can and does give us excellent guidance on this subject, but there are other approaches, beliefs and faiths.  There is much we can learn if we are open to and willing to listen to the ideas of people who have different beliefs to our own.

If you believe that we are beings that have a body and soul, then it is important to attend to the well-being of both.  But it is a sad fact that for many in today’s million miles per hour world, there is no place for meditation, quiet contemplation and prayer.  We spend every waking moment bombarded by sounds which drown out the inner, quiet voice of serenity, peace and knowledge.  Yet the beautiful, soothing, comforting power of that whisper-soft voice is present in all of us, if only we took the time to listen to it.

There is more.  If we are in touch with our spiritual side, we become more comfortable with other aspects of our soul, such as what happens when we are ill or when we die.

The importance of our spiritual health is the topic of my next positive living workshop “Dying to live: our soul’s transition” on Thursday 25^th October from 8.00 – 9.30 pm at the Edmund Rice Centre, Barrack St, Waterford, cost €10.  I will be running the workshop with my husband Jerry, who will cover how the ancient religion of Shamanism sees the division of body and soul.  It promises to be a fascinating workshop!  No need to book – simply turn up on the night.  See www.bredgardner.com for more details, or call 087 2025753.

REAL-ATIONSHIPS!

 Are you someone who likes to be with yourself?  Do you enjoy your own thoughts?  Do you laugh with yourself?  Do you love your body?  Are you content with yourself?  The way you feel about yourself is one of the most important things in your life, because if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, then how can you have a good one with someone else?

Author Louise Hay says “If I don’t love myself, I will always be looking for someone else to complete me, to make me happy, to fulfil my dreams.”  Indeed, many would claim that being “needy” is the best way to attract an unsuccessful relationship.  As Dr Wayne Dyer says, you want to really be happy before you enter a relationship!

Life is a mirror.  What we attract always mirrors those qualities or beliefs we have about ourselves and our relationships.  In her beautiful book “Living in the Light” Shakti Gawain states:

“If you judge and criticise yourself, others will judge and criticise you.

If you hurt yourself, others will hurt you.

If you lie to yourself, others will lie to you.

If you are irresponsible to yourself, others will be irresponsible in relation to you.

If you blame yourself, others will blame you.

If you don’t listen to your feelings, no-one will listen to your feelings.”

But conversely:

“If you love yourself, others will love you

If you respect yourself, others will respect you.

If you trust yourself, others will trust you.

If you are honest with yourself, others will be honest with you.

If you appreciate yourself, others will appreciate you.”

Change happens not by trying to make ourselves change, but by becoming conscious of what is not working in our lives.  This often means developing a greater awareness of what we think about ourselves.  Because when we have a strong relationship with ourselves, we can improve – indeed even mend - relationships with all those around us: our family, our friends and our colleagues. 

BALANCE IN ALL THINGS

I recently wrote about the importance of balancing our mind, body and spirit.  When our mind is balanced, we can think clearly, make decisions that feel right, and are kind to ourselves in our thoughts.  Our body is the vehicle carries us through life.  It needs sufficient inputs of energy and care to perform our daily activities such as working, walking, cleaning, cooking, playing and so on.  We all want a body that serves us well and delivers health and well-being.  Our spirit is the part of us that knows what we love to do.  It is our passion, our purpose and our very life force.  We feel more connected to mind and body when we tune into our spirit.

Deep within our being there is an infinite well of love, joy, inner peace and inner wisdom.  This is true for everybody.  Nobody is exempt.  Yet how often do we tune into this part of us?  We are all too busy running, some of us racing, and some of us not even having any idea where to start. When we are unbalanced like this, negative thoughts can take over, sometimes without us even being aware.  These negative thoughts can have ill effects on our racing mind and depleted body.

We all have feelings as we are sensory human beings.  But if we are blocked emotionally, then we cannot or do not know how we feel.  It may also be that we have blocked what we feel so effectively that we become emotionless, thus creating negativity, and, in time, even a physically diseased body.

We all deserve to feel good.  Our thoughts, our beliefs, our emotions and our feelings are all part of an invisible world that has a direct influence on our physical body.  When we become aware of this significant influence – and when we set aside a little time daily to work on balancing the different aspects of ourselves – then our life and the world around us can become a better place to be.  

To learn more about this subject, why not come along to my latest positive living workshop “Balancing our Mind, Body & Spirit” on Thursday 27^th September from 8.00 – 9.30 pm at the Edmund Rice Centre, Barrack St, Waterford, cost €10.  No need to book – simply turn on the night.  See www.bredgardner.com for more details, or call 087 2025753.

GET THE BALANCE RIGHT

 Recently I had a really interesting discussion with some friends about what good health really means.  Many people equate good health with strong physical health, but for me there is much more to it than that.  To enjoy true well-being, I believe that the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of our bodies need to be in balance.  I picture those aspects as four legs of a chair: if one leg is not there or if it is out of kilter with the other legs, then the chair will wobble or even fall over!

When our emotions are in balance, we tend to feel happier and contented.  I have always believed that happy people are healthier people.  Emotions like anger and frustration can cause high blood pressure, rapid heart-beat and palpitations.  This demonstrates the obvious and direct connection between a person’s emotions and their health, and the same is true of their mental state.  If you know someone who suffers from cold sores, they will tell you that they are more likely to suffer from them when they are feeling low or depressed.  The old adage “Healthy Mind, Healthy Body” rings as true as it ever did!

My husband recently completed a course in Shamanism, one of the oldest and most widespread religions in the world.  Shamans believe that illness and imbalance in the body are directly related to our spiritual health.  In other words, if a person’s spiritual health is in a bad way, this may be reflected in their physical well-being.  This age-old wisdom has been largely lost in the modern world, but the idea that our spiritual and physical health are inextricably linked seems eminently sensible to me.  The primary focus of religion is tending to people’s spiritual health, and now at last we can see religions slowly moving away from power, politics and preserving their reputation, and moving back towards meeting the spiritual needs of their believers. 

If you go and see a doctor, they will certainly treat your physical symptoms.  Sometimes they may understand the mental and emotional dimensions, but equally they may not fully consider the influence that your conscious and subconscious mind has on your health.  Of course, it is not a doctor’s primary job to attend to your spiritual health, but it may be a lack of spiritual happiness that is causing imbalance in your body.  It is only when we understand the importance of balancing those four chair legs that we can feel truly connected to our true selves and enjoy lasting good health and well-being.

PS  My positive living workshops recommence on Thursday 20^th September from 8.00 – 9.30 pm at the Edmund Rice Centre, starting with “Trust Your Intuition” – more details next week.  

THE CYCLES OF LIFE (PMT)

Dear Breda, My 15 year old daughter misses school a lot with terrible menstrual cramps and PMT.  She takes a lot of Ponston but it is not very effective.  Can you suggest any natural alternatives?  Sandra.

Dear Sandra,

What a misfortune for your daughter.  Just like the various flows and rhythms of nature, the menstrual cycle is part of the process of life.  The rise and fall of the sun and the ebb and flow of the tides are mirrored in our bodies, our waking and sleeping cycles, the seasons and the rhythmic flow of our blood.  

As many as 50% of women experience various physical symptoms prior to or during menstruation.  Symptoms include cramps, breast tenderness, water retention, moodiness, irritability, headaches, backaches, insomnia, fatigue and food cravings.  There are many natural approaches you can take to help ease these symptoms, so ask your daughter to try the following:

Eat a low fat diet coming up to your periods.  Milk and dairy products have been known to increase calcium levels, thus disturbing the calcium magnesium balance in the body and leading to cramps and heavy periods.  Try coconut, hazelnut, soya, almond or rice milk instead.

Regular exercise can help to reduce PMT.  Exercise increases the brain secretion of natural painkiller endorphins, relaxes muscles and improves circulation.

Avoid coffee, and reduce intake of tea, chocolate, colas and salt.

Evening primrose oil, linseeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds are all excellent source of essential fatty acids which can help to reduce PMT.

Homeopathic medicine is naturally effective and has no side effects.  Magnesium Phosphate is indicated when warmth (eg a hot water bottle) or doubling up helps to relieve menstrual cramps.  Use Colocynthis for irritability and when menstrual pain forces you to double up.  Pulsatilla and Ignatia are wonderful remedies for the emotional swings of PMT.  Pulsatilla is for the weepy, moody, self-pitying PMT woman, whilst Ignatia is for someone who feels irritable, misunderstood and broody. 

Take a 30 potency one to three hourly during the discomfort.  Stop taking the remedy if the pain stops or if there is no relief after 48 hours.         

ALWAYS READ THE LABEL!

Last week, my husband Jerry had a small operation, and was advised to use ibuprofen as a painkiller.  The doctor told him to take the tablets with food.  However, when he went to bed that evening, Jerry swallowed the pills with water, not food.  In the middle of the night, he woke up wheezing and  covered in red, itchy hives.  Unsure as to the cause, he read the paperwork that came with the ibuprofen.  It takes a lot to shock him, but he was shocked at what he found.

The guidelines said to stop taking the medicine and tell your doctor if you experienced: unexplained wheezing, shortness of breath, skin rash, itching, bruising, facial swelling, indigestion, heartburn, abdominal pain, yellowing of skin and whites of the eye, eye pain, blurred vision, sore mouth, difficulty passing urine, hallucination, swollen ankles, severe blistering or peeling of the skin, anaemia and severe sore throat.  The list of mild side effects included stomach discomfort, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, indigestion, flatulence, weight gain, headaches, tinnitus, tiredness, pins and needles and constipation.  But there’s more!  Rare side effects included confusion, depression, dizziness, vertigo, blood disorders, kidney / liver failure, colitis or Crohn’s disease, severe itching, hives (we got there eventually!), high blood pressure and aseptic meningitis.  Even after all that there was still more!

When I see people in my clinics, I always ask them to bring along any medication they are taking.  You would be surprised at how often their presenting condition is matched by a side effect of the medication.  Just like my husband, they hadn’t bothered to read the paperwork.

We are lucky in Ireland to have a superb network of pharmacists, and if you have any doubts about the side effects of your medication, they can advise you.  With medication, it is vital to follow the instructions about not only dosage but also how to take it.  My husband had no reaction to the ibuprofen when he took it with food.  After breaking out in hives, he stopped taking the ibuprofen immediately and changed to Paracetamol – but not before reading accompanying paperwork thoroughly!