Always Striving, Never Arriving

At certain stages in our lives, it may feel like we are always striving and never arriving … as if something better is just around the corner, but we can never quite get there.

No matter where you are, what you do or whatever your circumstances, you are always with yourself.  And what does that mean?  To be with yourself means feeling life and experiencing all of its ups and downs.  The burdens, the guilt, the weariness, the isolation and the sorrows of humanity … but also the joys, inner peace, love, laughter, happiness and sheer blissfulness of being alive.

At different times in your life, you may look to organisations, religions, associations, family, friends and other people to help you find yourself.  You may keep looking for answers which never come.  Sometimes the racing mind never stops, it just gets faster and faster, constantly buzzing like an electric pylon, leaving you tired and confused.  Should I go left or right?  What am I doing wrong?  Am I any good at anything as nothing seems to be working out the way I thought it should.  The answers never come, as the noise in the head drowns out the sound of inner knowing, truth and peace.

So how to stop the noise?  The first step is to accept that you are doing your best, regardless of any outside pressures.  This acceptance helps to release tension, like the value on a pressure cooker, and creates more space for new ideas and new outlook.  And just as importantly, it gives you hope.  In this simple act of self-acceptance, you can start to see how the small pleasures in life can bring you much joy.

On finding yourself, you lift the pressure and tension from your head, shoulders and heart.  The mind stops racing, it starts to listen to the body, and the body starts to respond to the more positive thoughts in the head.  Small pleasures become a great joy.  Finding yourself and doing simple things which bring you joy is your lottery ticket to health and well-being, and makes your journey through life a wonderful adventure.

S…T…R…E…S…S!

Stress is everywhere and we can’t avoid it.  It’s in our everyday lives, in our health and well-being, in our finances, in our jobs, and in our relationships with ourselves and others.  But some people are under more stress than others.  Last weekend, I attended a charity fundraiser for the Society of St Vincent de Paul.  The organiser told a story about a family he knew that were in trouble.  He invited the head of the family to a restaurant to talk things over, but the guest felt guilty about being there.  They were offered the types of bread, and his guest said “You know, here I am being offered three types of bread, but at home I can’t even afford to put a slice on the table.”

There are many similar stories of people facing extremely challenging circumstances.  So how can we empower ourselves to help us to stay sane and tap into our own health and wellbeing?  It’s not always easy, so I hope that the following tips will encourage you to see the light instead of living in the darkness.  Sometimes we need a torch or a helping hand along the way.  So swallow your pride, and don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help.   

State how you feel.  Speak to someone, and don’t keep things bottled up inside.  Speak to a family member, a friend or a professional counsellor.  PCI College offer low-cost counselling (call 01 464 2268 for details of local services) or contact the SVP. 

Talk to yourself and tell yourself that you are doing your best, no matter how bad things are.  Frequently repeat to yourself “I am doing my best” so that you can feel it in your body.

Respond to stress rather than react.  When you react to stress, you are letting yourself feel the associated ill-effects in your body.  But when you respond to it, you are positively acting on working out the given situation.

Exercise: even the most stressed-out person who goes for a brisk walk or jog will feel the benefit.  Exercise may clear your mind of any negative clutter, and help you to make some sense of where you are at.  

Solutions: look for solutions instead of dwelling on problems.  Problems never seem to get resolved, whereas solutions are the light at the end of the tunnel.

Seek help: tell yourself “I’m worth it” over and over again.  It’s up to you to rescue yourself - nobody else can do that for you. So take that first step and ask for help.  Tell yourself that you love yourself enough to be here living life in every moment, wholly connected to the true loving being that you are. 

INSOMNIA

I’ve seen a number of clients recently who have had trouble sleeping.  Getting enough sleep is a vital component in our health and well-being.  Sleep helps our body cells to rejuvenate and heal, but a lack of sleep can leave us feeling tired, depressed and low.  Insomnia is a surprisingly common complaint: it is reckoned that 15 – 25% of adults regularly suffer from it.  And there are different types: some insomniacs have difficulty falling asleep, whilst others wake up frequently and have problems getting back to sleep or staying asleep. 

In my experience, insomnia can sometimes suggest a deep fear of letting go and surrendering.  When we sleep, we are in a vulnerable and surrendered state, and the inability to sleep may indicate chronic tension, fear and anxiety.  Ongoing insomnia can also indicate a severe lack of trust.  The thymus gland is closely connected to sleep, and in turn the thymus is connected to the energy of the heart.  Thus insomnia is often related to our ability to love ourselves, to trust love and therefore to trust life.

Perhaps the best way to determine whether you are getting enough sleep each night is to see how you feel upon waking.  You should be rested and refreshed.  If you are not, then you need to do something about it!  Here are some useful tips to help with insomnia:

- Before bedtime, take a warm bath with a few drops of relaxing aromatherapy oils such as clary sage or roman chamomile

- The homeopathic remedies Aconite (releases fear), Arsenicum (releases anxiety), Aurum (soothes the inner critic), Coffea (relaxes the mind) and Nux Vomica (calms the racing mind) can all help with insomnia: use a 30 potency half an hour before bedtime and then again at bedtime.  Repeat hourly if necessary.

- Avoid caffeinated products such as coffee, black tea, colas etc.  Nicotine in cigarettes is also a stimulant that can keep you awake at night

- Despite folklore that has long suggested that warm milk helps people sleep, research has shown that it is rarely helpful.  In fact, non-fat and low-fat milk can actually stimulate activity in the brain!

- Bedrooms should be used for sleeping and not for stressful activities like paying bills or doing work: make sure yours has a relaxing atmoshpre

- Finally, acknowledge your anxieties, insecurities and fears.  Write them down and then burn the piece of paper: just the simple fact of putting them down on paper may help you to get a good night’s sleep.

YOU ARE ELECTRIC!

Our body cells, our thoughts, our computers, our phones, our household appliances and our lights all have one thing in common: they are all dependant on electromagnetic energy.  Although we humans are biological and chemical beings, ultimately everything we do is controlled by electrical impulses running through our bodies.  If you had a suitable scanner, you would be able to see that the body’s electromagnetic field is between three to four feet wide. 

Just like all the machines mentioned above, our bodies would not function properly without a balanced energy force.  If the body has too much - or too little - electrical energy, it may experience symptoms like headaches, migraines, sore throats, eat infections or static shocks to let you know that you are out of balance.  You may want to get rid of the pain associated with these symptoms, but unless you deal with the maintaining cause - ie electromagnetic stress - problems can keep on recurring. 

Electromagnetic stress is one of the more unusual and less obvious causes of imbalance in the body.  I have successfully treated numerous clients who literally had a “light bulb moment” (!) when they realised the root cause of their problems.  A simple example is a teenage client whose constant headaches disappeared the moment she stopped sleeping with her mobile phone under her pillow.  I could quote many other similar cases.  In my experience, some people are more susceptible than others to electromagnetic stress, but problems can arise from an overactive mind, excessive mental, emotional or physical stress, prolonged exposure to electrical devices, or fatigue.

So what’s the best way to deal with electromagnetic stress?  Here’s a list of suggestions:

• Keep your mobile phone at least four feet away from your body whilst sleeping (NEVER put it under your pillow!).  This helps your body cells to relax, and your mind will feel the benefits. 

• Children and teenagers should switch their phones off completely whilst in school.  Even if the phone is in your bag, it is still in your energy field, meaning you may become overcharged with electricity, potentially making it difficult to concentrate and making you feel ungrounded.

• If you do leave your phone switched on, use a protector shield or black tourmaline crystal to absorb some of the electromagnetic waves and protect your energy field (mobile phone protectors and black tourmaline crystals are available from my clinics).  

• Take regular breaks from electrical devices - don’t sit for hours on end in front of the TV or computer, and limit the length of calls on your mobile - maybe even leave it at home one day a week!

• Consciously take three deep breaths often, just to allow oxygen to be dispersed around your body.  Breathing deeply will also help you to feel more grounded.   

• Be aware of what you are thinking, and detach from the drama in your life.  Be kind to yourself in your thoughts and actions, and the universe will respond in kind, bringing greater calm, balance and health into your life.

THE ROLE OF YOUR SOUL

What does your soul have to do with your life?  And what does your life have to do with your soul?  Your soul is the part of you that existed before you were born and will continue to exist after you die.  It is the part of you that is eternal.

Everyone is going to school on earth, learning life lessons to help the soul heal and evolve.  Anger, anxiety, resentment and jealousy are amongst the many forms of fear and worry that you experience in your life.  Healing comes from within you when you decide to respond consciously and compassionately to these challenges.

You can learn from your mistakes or you can keep making them until you wake up and realise you are something more than your personality.  Your soul uses your personality to grow and learn, not the other way round.  Only by taking off the mask can you come face to face with the truth of your reality.

When you consciously use your intention – or the force of your will – to align your personality with your soul, you create authentic power.  You start to see life as a wonderful place to live.  You become happier here on earth, even through your most difficult moments.  Amazing things can happen when you connect with your soul: suddenly you become more in touch with your fellow human beings, nature, the seasons, the universe and the spiritual aspects of your life.    

Your life is an opportunity to heal, and your soul wants to give you the gifts that you already have within you: love, forgiveness, compassion and understanding.  The ups and downs are part of your life’s experiences, helping you to develop further along your soul’s journey.  You become a conduit for the energy of your soul.  Learning how to create what your soul wants moment by moment is the role of your life in your soul.

SHORT DAYS & SAD TIMES!

I am a great lover of the seasons, but I have to say that I am no big fan of this particular time of the year.  Don’t get me wrong - I love crisp autumn mornings, the beautiful colours of the leaves on the trees, the blackberries in the hedges, warming hot soup and open fires … but it’s just that for those three or four weeks in the run up to the winter solstice on, the days seem so short and the nights so long!   

• Talking to my clients, I know that many of them feel the same.  There is even a name for that depressing feeling that can come with certain times of the year – SAD (seasonal affective disorder).  So here are some tips that might help you to feel better:    

• Take every opportunity to make the most of what light there is.  That may mean getting up earlier than usual, making sure you take a break during the day and get out into the light and air, and going for walks at the weekend (wrap up well if it’s cold!).  Also, look up to the sky to make sure as much light as possible enters the pineal gland via your eyes (if we don’t get enough light, the pineal gland may produce too much of the hormone melatonin which can cause drowsiness, fatigue and low energy).

• Go with the season and don’t fight against it.  Our two dogs, Sunny and Sylvie, are noticeably less active in the autumn and winter.  They instinctively know that this time of year is a time for resting, drawing the horns in and sleeping!  As humans we should do the same - curl up in front of the fire, take things easier, and go to bed earlier.

• Buy a special SAD lamp – they are available at Argos. 

• Above all, stay positive and remember that the turning point is only a few weeks away: after 21^st December, the worst is over, and we can look forward to longer days and shorter nights, as well as the joys of the festive season. 

I was talking recently to a friend who is going to Sweden this month.  She told me that the nights there start at 1 pm!  She added that she was looking forward to coming back to more light in Ireland just before Christmas.  So be like her, and focus on the positive! 

A SIMPLE LETTER

Some good friends of ours moved back to England recently.  It’s taken them forever to get in touch – it took them two weeks to get a phone line sorted, and they are still waiting for their broadband.  So when my husband’s birthday card from them arrived a week or so ago, he came in with a huge smile on his face.  The card had included a letter, in beautiful handwriting and full of our friends’ latest news.  My husband held the letter up as if it was some sort of precious antique – which in some ways I suppose it was!  When he’d finished reading it, he gave it to me, and once I’d finished it, he read it again.  It was great to hear their news, but it was even better to think that they had gone to the time and trouble to pen a letter.

Soon our friends will be back online, and doubtless we shall be back in contact with them via Facebook, Skype and email … and most definitely not by post!  And yet that old-fashioned method of communication had meant much more than an email or Skype call.  It struck me that in the rush of modern-day living, we seem to have forgotten that sometimes the old ways are still as wonderful and valid as they ever were.    

We rush everywhere looking for the latest gadget or form of entertainment, forgetting the fun and sociability of a board game or game of cards.  We buy expensive, pre-packaged fruit from the supermarket rather than picking our own blackberries.  If we go for a walk in nature, we probably listen to music on our headphones, rather than to the sounds of the countryside.  If we are sick, we want a pill that will make us better quickly, rather than relying on those old staples of rest and sleep. 

Of course, not everything about the past is red and rosy: but it is a great loss if we forget many of the better aspects of the old ways. So why not surprise a loved one or close friend, and send them a handwritten letter?  Who knows – you might even get the pleasure of receiving a letter back!