THE ROLE OF YOUR SOUL

What does your soul have to do with your life?  And what does your life have to do with your soul?  Your soul is the part of you that existed before you were born and will continue to exist after you die.  It is the part of you that is eternal.

Everyone is going to school on earth, learning life lessons to help the soul heal and evolve.  Anger, anxiety, resentment and jealousy are amongst the many forms of fear and worry that you experience in your life.  Healing comes from within you when you decide to respond consciously and compassionately to these challenges.

You can learn from your mistakes or you can keep making them until you wake up and realise you are something more than your personality.  Your soul uses your personality to grow and learn, not the other way round.  Only by taking off the mask can you come face to face with the truth of your reality.

When you consciously use your intention – or the force of your will – to align your personality with your soul, you create authentic power.  You start to see life as a wonderful place to live.  You become happier here on earth, even through your most difficult moments.  Amazing things can happen when you connect with your soul: suddenly you become more in touch with your fellow human beings, nature, the seasons, the universe and the spiritual aspects of your life.    

Your life is an opportunity to heal, and your soul wants to give you the gifts that you already have within you: love, forgiveness, compassion and understanding.  The ups and downs are part of your life’s experiences, helping you to develop further along your soul’s journey.  You become a conduit for the energy of your soul.  Learning how to create what your soul wants moment by moment is the role of your life in your soul.

SHORT DAYS & SAD TIMES!

I am a great lover of the seasons, but I have to say that I am no big fan of this particular time of the year.  Don’t get me wrong - I love crisp autumn mornings, the beautiful colours of the leaves on the trees, the blackberries in the hedges, warming hot soup and open fires … but it’s just that for those three or four weeks in the run up to the winter solstice on, the days seem so short and the nights so long!   

• Talking to my clients, I know that many of them feel the same.  There is even a name for that depressing feeling that can come with certain times of the year – SAD (seasonal affective disorder).  So here are some tips that might help you to feel better:    

• Take every opportunity to make the most of what light there is.  That may mean getting up earlier than usual, making sure you take a break during the day and get out into the light and air, and going for walks at the weekend (wrap up well if it’s cold!).  Also, look up to the sky to make sure as much light as possible enters the pineal gland via your eyes (if we don’t get enough light, the pineal gland may produce too much of the hormone melatonin which can cause drowsiness, fatigue and low energy).

• Go with the season and don’t fight against it.  Our two dogs, Sunny and Sylvie, are noticeably less active in the autumn and winter.  They instinctively know that this time of year is a time for resting, drawing the horns in and sleeping!  As humans we should do the same - curl up in front of the fire, take things easier, and go to bed earlier.

• Buy a special SAD lamp – they are available at Argos. 

• Above all, stay positive and remember that the turning point is only a few weeks away: after 21^st December, the worst is over, and we can look forward to longer days and shorter nights, as well as the joys of the festive season. 

I was talking recently to a friend who is going to Sweden this month.  She told me that the nights there start at 1 pm!  She added that she was looking forward to coming back to more light in Ireland just before Christmas.  So be like her, and focus on the positive! 

A SIMPLE LETTER

Some good friends of ours moved back to England recently.  It’s taken them forever to get in touch – it took them two weeks to get a phone line sorted, and they are still waiting for their broadband.  So when my husband’s birthday card from them arrived a week or so ago, he came in with a huge smile on his face.  The card had included a letter, in beautiful handwriting and full of our friends’ latest news.  My husband held the letter up as if it was some sort of precious antique – which in some ways I suppose it was!  When he’d finished reading it, he gave it to me, and once I’d finished it, he read it again.  It was great to hear their news, but it was even better to think that they had gone to the time and trouble to pen a letter.

Soon our friends will be back online, and doubtless we shall be back in contact with them via Facebook, Skype and email … and most definitely not by post!  And yet that old-fashioned method of communication had meant much more than an email or Skype call.  It struck me that in the rush of modern-day living, we seem to have forgotten that sometimes the old ways are still as wonderful and valid as they ever were.    

We rush everywhere looking for the latest gadget or form of entertainment, forgetting the fun and sociability of a board game or game of cards.  We buy expensive, pre-packaged fruit from the supermarket rather than picking our own blackberries.  If we go for a walk in nature, we probably listen to music on our headphones, rather than to the sounds of the countryside.  If we are sick, we want a pill that will make us better quickly, rather than relying on those old staples of rest and sleep. 

Of course, not everything about the past is red and rosy: but it is a great loss if we forget many of the better aspects of the old ways. So why not surprise a loved one or close friend, and send them a handwritten letter?  Who knows – you might even get the pleasure of receiving a letter back! 

THAT’S THE SPIRIT!

A few weeks ago, I wrote that to enjoy true health and well-being, we need to balance the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of our bodies.  I have written extensively about the first three aspects, but our spiritual health is a much more emotive, profound and controversial subject.  The idea that there is a link between our spiritual health and our physical well-being is a very old one, but nowadays it is not always recognised.  Indeed, many people in today’s society have no time whatsoever for their spiritual side.

To develop our spiritual health, we first need to recognise that we are spiritual beings, and then spend some time thinking about what this means.  Of course, the established Church can and does give us excellent guidance on this subject, but there are other approaches, beliefs and faiths.  There is much we can learn if we are open to and willing to listen to the ideas of people who have different beliefs to our own.

If you believe that we are beings that have a body and soul, then it is important to attend to the well-being of both.  But it is a sad fact that for many in today’s million miles per hour world, there is no place for meditation, quiet contemplation and prayer.  We spend every waking moment bombarded by sounds which drown out the inner, quiet voice of serenity, peace and knowledge.  Yet the beautiful, soothing, comforting power of that whisper-soft voice is present in all of us, if only we took the time to listen to it.

There is more.  If we are in touch with our spiritual side, we become more comfortable with other aspects of our soul, such as what happens when we are ill or when we die.

The importance of our spiritual health is the topic of my next positive living workshop “Dying to live: our soul’s transition” on Thursday 25^th October from 8.00 – 9.30 pm at the Edmund Rice Centre, Barrack St, Waterford, cost €10.  I will be running the workshop with my husband Jerry, who will cover how the ancient religion of Shamanism sees the division of body and soul.  It promises to be a fascinating workshop!  No need to book – simply turn up on the night.  See www.bredgardner.com for more details, or call 087 2025753.

REAL-ATIONSHIPS!

 Are you someone who likes to be with yourself?  Do you enjoy your own thoughts?  Do you laugh with yourself?  Do you love your body?  Are you content with yourself?  The way you feel about yourself is one of the most important things in your life, because if you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, then how can you have a good one with someone else?

Author Louise Hay says “If I don’t love myself, I will always be looking for someone else to complete me, to make me happy, to fulfil my dreams.”  Indeed, many would claim that being “needy” is the best way to attract an unsuccessful relationship.  As Dr Wayne Dyer says, you want to really be happy before you enter a relationship!

Life is a mirror.  What we attract always mirrors those qualities or beliefs we have about ourselves and our relationships.  In her beautiful book “Living in the Light” Shakti Gawain states:

“If you judge and criticise yourself, others will judge and criticise you.

If you hurt yourself, others will hurt you.

If you lie to yourself, others will lie to you.

If you are irresponsible to yourself, others will be irresponsible in relation to you.

If you blame yourself, others will blame you.

If you don’t listen to your feelings, no-one will listen to your feelings.”

But conversely:

“If you love yourself, others will love you

If you respect yourself, others will respect you.

If you trust yourself, others will trust you.

If you are honest with yourself, others will be honest with you.

If you appreciate yourself, others will appreciate you.”

Change happens not by trying to make ourselves change, but by becoming conscious of what is not working in our lives.  This often means developing a greater awareness of what we think about ourselves.  Because when we have a strong relationship with ourselves, we can improve – indeed even mend - relationships with all those around us: our family, our friends and our colleagues. 

BALANCE IN ALL THINGS

I recently wrote about the importance of balancing our mind, body and spirit.  When our mind is balanced, we can think clearly, make decisions that feel right, and are kind to ourselves in our thoughts.  Our body is the vehicle carries us through life.  It needs sufficient inputs of energy and care to perform our daily activities such as working, walking, cleaning, cooking, playing and so on.  We all want a body that serves us well and delivers health and well-being.  Our spirit is the part of us that knows what we love to do.  It is our passion, our purpose and our very life force.  We feel more connected to mind and body when we tune into our spirit.

Deep within our being there is an infinite well of love, joy, inner peace and inner wisdom.  This is true for everybody.  Nobody is exempt.  Yet how often do we tune into this part of us?  We are all too busy running, some of us racing, and some of us not even having any idea where to start. When we are unbalanced like this, negative thoughts can take over, sometimes without us even being aware.  These negative thoughts can have ill effects on our racing mind and depleted body.

We all have feelings as we are sensory human beings.  But if we are blocked emotionally, then we cannot or do not know how we feel.  It may also be that we have blocked what we feel so effectively that we become emotionless, thus creating negativity, and, in time, even a physically diseased body.

We all deserve to feel good.  Our thoughts, our beliefs, our emotions and our feelings are all part of an invisible world that has a direct influence on our physical body.  When we become aware of this significant influence – and when we set aside a little time daily to work on balancing the different aspects of ourselves – then our life and the world around us can become a better place to be.  

To learn more about this subject, why not come along to my latest positive living workshop “Balancing our Mind, Body & Spirit” on Thursday 27^th September from 8.00 – 9.30 pm at the Edmund Rice Centre, Barrack St, Waterford, cost €10.  No need to book – simply turn on the night.  See www.bredgardner.com for more details, or call 087 2025753.

GET THE BALANCE RIGHT

 Recently I had a really interesting discussion with some friends about what good health really means.  Many people equate good health with strong physical health, but for me there is much more to it than that.  To enjoy true well-being, I believe that the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of our bodies need to be in balance.  I picture those aspects as four legs of a chair: if one leg is not there or if it is out of kilter with the other legs, then the chair will wobble or even fall over!

When our emotions are in balance, we tend to feel happier and contented.  I have always believed that happy people are healthier people.  Emotions like anger and frustration can cause high blood pressure, rapid heart-beat and palpitations.  This demonstrates the obvious and direct connection between a person’s emotions and their health, and the same is true of their mental state.  If you know someone who suffers from cold sores, they will tell you that they are more likely to suffer from them when they are feeling low or depressed.  The old adage “Healthy Mind, Healthy Body” rings as true as it ever did!

My husband recently completed a course in Shamanism, one of the oldest and most widespread religions in the world.  Shamans believe that illness and imbalance in the body are directly related to our spiritual health.  In other words, if a person’s spiritual health is in a bad way, this may be reflected in their physical well-being.  This age-old wisdom has been largely lost in the modern world, but the idea that our spiritual and physical health are inextricably linked seems eminently sensible to me.  The primary focus of religion is tending to people’s spiritual health, and now at last we can see religions slowly moving away from power, politics and preserving their reputation, and moving back towards meeting the spiritual needs of their believers. 

If you go and see a doctor, they will certainly treat your physical symptoms.  Sometimes they may understand the mental and emotional dimensions, but equally they may not fully consider the influence that your conscious and subconscious mind has on your health.  Of course, it is not a doctor’s primary job to attend to your spiritual health, but it may be a lack of spiritual happiness that is causing imbalance in your body.  It is only when we understand the importance of balancing those four chair legs that we can feel truly connected to our true selves and enjoy lasting good health and well-being.

PS  My positive living workshops recommence on Thursday 20^th September from 8.00 – 9.30 pm at the Edmund Rice Centre, starting with “Trust Your Intuition” – more details next week.  

THE CYCLES OF LIFE (PMT)

Dear Breda, My 15 year old daughter misses school a lot with terrible menstrual cramps and PMT.  She takes a lot of Ponston but it is not very effective.  Can you suggest any natural alternatives?  Sandra.

Dear Sandra,

What a misfortune for your daughter.  Just like the various flows and rhythms of nature, the menstrual cycle is part of the process of life.  The rise and fall of the sun and the ebb and flow of the tides are mirrored in our bodies, our waking and sleeping cycles, the seasons and the rhythmic flow of our blood.  

As many as 50% of women experience various physical symptoms prior to or during menstruation.  Symptoms include cramps, breast tenderness, water retention, moodiness, irritability, headaches, backaches, insomnia, fatigue and food cravings.  There are many natural approaches you can take to help ease these symptoms, so ask your daughter to try the following:

Eat a low fat diet coming up to your periods.  Milk and dairy products have been known to increase calcium levels, thus disturbing the calcium magnesium balance in the body and leading to cramps and heavy periods.  Try coconut, hazelnut, soya, almond or rice milk instead.

Regular exercise can help to reduce PMT.  Exercise increases the brain secretion of natural painkiller endorphins, relaxes muscles and improves circulation.

Avoid coffee, and reduce intake of tea, chocolate, colas and salt.

Evening primrose oil, linseeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds are all excellent source of essential fatty acids which can help to reduce PMT.

Homeopathic medicine is naturally effective and has no side effects.  Magnesium Phosphate is indicated when warmth (eg a hot water bottle) or doubling up helps to relieve menstrual cramps.  Use Colocynthis for irritability and when menstrual pain forces you to double up.  Pulsatilla and Ignatia are wonderful remedies for the emotional swings of PMT.  Pulsatilla is for the weepy, moody, self-pitying PMT woman, whilst Ignatia is for someone who feels irritable, misunderstood and broody. 

Take a 30 potency one to three hourly during the discomfort.  Stop taking the remedy if the pain stops or if there is no relief after 48 hours.         

ALWAYS READ THE LABEL!

Last week, my husband Jerry had a small operation, and was advised to use ibuprofen as a painkiller.  The doctor told him to take the tablets with food.  However, when he went to bed that evening, Jerry swallowed the pills with water, not food.  In the middle of the night, he woke up wheezing and  covered in red, itchy hives.  Unsure as to the cause, he read the paperwork that came with the ibuprofen.  It takes a lot to shock him, but he was shocked at what he found.

The guidelines said to stop taking the medicine and tell your doctor if you experienced: unexplained wheezing, shortness of breath, skin rash, itching, bruising, facial swelling, indigestion, heartburn, abdominal pain, yellowing of skin and whites of the eye, eye pain, blurred vision, sore mouth, difficulty passing urine, hallucination, swollen ankles, severe blistering or peeling of the skin, anaemia and severe sore throat.  The list of mild side effects included stomach discomfort, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, indigestion, flatulence, weight gain, headaches, tinnitus, tiredness, pins and needles and constipation.  But there’s more!  Rare side effects included confusion, depression, dizziness, vertigo, blood disorders, kidney / liver failure, colitis or Crohn’s disease, severe itching, hives (we got there eventually!), high blood pressure and aseptic meningitis.  Even after all that there was still more!

When I see people in my clinics, I always ask them to bring along any medication they are taking.  You would be surprised at how often their presenting condition is matched by a side effect of the medication.  Just like my husband, they hadn’t bothered to read the paperwork.

We are lucky in Ireland to have a superb network of pharmacists, and if you have any doubts about the side effects of your medication, they can advise you.  With medication, it is vital to follow the instructions about not only dosage but also how to take it.  My husband had no reaction to the ibuprofen when he took it with food.  After breaking out in hives, he stopped taking the ibuprofen immediately and changed to Paracetamol – but not before reading accompanying paperwork thoroughly!

HEALING HURTS

Every one of us gets hurt at some stage in our lives.  If we are truly honest with ourselves, we feel our own pain as well as the pain of others.  People often say to me “I have been hurt, but I cannot express my anger, what can I do?”  I say “Just for now, begin to look immediately within yourself and ask yourself why you are hurting.”

Hurt is a negative memory that still has the power to upset us.  But we have a choice: we can allow that memory to still have influence over us, or we can try and break its hold over us.  It is not always an easy thing to do, but it can be done.  Helen Keller said “The world is full of suffering, it is also full of people overcoming it.”

The first step is to be fully aware that the negative memory is causing the hurt, and then to accept that the hurt is of no use to us.  Say to yourself “Thank you for my life lesson.  I am aware of being hurt.  I now release anything in my past and present that does not serve my higher good.  So be it.”  Don’t be too hard on yourself.  In fact, do the opposite: be kind to yourself! 

Psychologist Dr Howlen says that everything you seek and experience is inside of you.  If you want to change anything, you do it inside, not outside.  The whole idea is total responsibility.  But there is no blame here.  It is no-one’s fault: not yours, and not the person who caused the hurt.  It may be hard to forgive yourself, but it can be even harder to forgive the other person.  But true healing will never take place until you forgive both you and them.

The universe is always sending us messages that are inspiring to our true self.  But if negative memories and feelings take over, we cannot hear our true self, let alone act on it.  We are sometimes too busy with the noise in our heads to hear the truth!

CONSTIPATION

 Dear Breda, My seven year old son suffers from constipation.  Can you recommend any natural remedies to help?  Thanks.  Rachel.

Dear Rachel,

An old Chinese proverb states “There is no disease but stagnation, no remedy but circulation.”  Our large intestine is about 5 feet long and our small intestine about 20 feet, so at one level, it is amazing that anything finds its way through our body!  Although constipation in itself is not an illness, it is a symptom that something is wrong.  Does your son have a poor diet?  Is there stress in his life?  Is he exposed to certain toxic substances?  Is he on mediation which has side-effects?  Is he getting enough exercise?  Is he using constipation as a means of grabbing your attention?

Constipation can be extremely uncomfortable, and may lead to a general state of lowered health, with sluggishness both physically and mentally.  If not treated, it can lead to bad breath and body odour, haemorrhoids, diverticulitis (infection / inflammation of the large intestine) and other health ailments.

I have seen children with constipation who have perfect diets, so it is important to understand the other potential factors, such as constitution, genetics, lifestyle, emotional upset, geopathic and electromagnetic stress.  Whilst diet is the most common reason for constipation, I have seen many patients – especially children - where the maintaining cause was something quite different and not immediately obvious.   All things considered, the following advice may be of assistance:

Diet: the best sources of fibre are grains, legumes, fresh fruit and vegetables.  Introduce slowly as they can cause gas and diarrhoea.

Drink 6 to 8 glasses of water daily.

Add linseeds or flaxseeds to your son’s cereals. 

Take one tablespoon of olive oil with the juice of one lemon just before bedtime and upon getting up in the morning.  This helps to stimulate liver function, and improves overall digestion and elimination of food.

Certain foods such as milk, cheese, white flour products and iron supplements can cause constipation.  Record and scrutinise your son’s diet, as there may be something obvious which is causing the problem.

It is sometimes useful to get your son to sit on the toilet at the same time ever day.  This may create a signal to the body to defecate.

I have found homeopathic remedies to be extremely gentle and effective in treating constipation.  The most common ones used are Nat Mur (aids assimilation and absorption, and treats emotional upset), Lycopodium (aids liver function, enhances appetite and boosts confidence), Nux Vomica (number 1 remedy for irritable bowel syndrome, helps to ground and balance the energy in the body), and Pulsatilla (aids circulation and self-esteem, and is great for constipation if craving dairy products). 

If diet is the underlying cause of your son’s constipation, the above advice may help, but as ever, it is important to play the “health detective.”   By this I mean taking a dispassionate look at your son’s life and considering whether there are other factors at play: did the problem start when he changed school, began taking a certain medication or eating a certain food, moved house or lost a loved one?  Diet is the common maintaining cause of constipation, but be aware that there are many other potential causes too.

DOGS, NOT DIAMONDS!

 Regular readers will know that I am a big dog lover.  Last week I wrote about the delights of walking by my local rivers with our two rescue dogs, and how we should let energy flow through our bodies like the rivers flow through the countryside.  After writing that article, I began to think about how not just rivers but also dogs have so many lessons to teach us.

When I get home from work, my two dogs Sunny and Sylvie don’t greet me with complaints about how tired they are, or how difficult their homework is, or how bad the weather is.  They are simply overjoyed to welcome me home.  Think about it when you get home next, or when you are welcoming a loved one home: do you bound to the door with delight, or do you growl and complain about your day?  Which welcome would you rather receive?

Our dogs also enjoy the simple things in life.  Sometimes, when she is out walking (or more accurately, running!), Sunny will just take a huge jump for joy: she is totally alive, living for the moment, and enjoying herself.  She is not thinking about all the complications in her life: she is just running free and revelling in the world around her.  When was the last time you did that?

The only thing Sunny and Sylvie love more than their walks is their “rubadubs.”  They are both very affectionate dogs, and everyone in our family regularly strokes and pets them.  The dogs appreciate the attention, and it’s really relaxing and rewarding for the person doing the stroking … so maybe we should show the same amount of affection and care to the loved ones around us!

Dogs never judge us.  They love us unconditionally and don’t bear grudges.  We can talk to them and they will listen to our problems without answering back.  They do not expect too much – just feeding, walking and stroking - and they greatly appreciate everything that we do for them.  Above all, they are loyal and love us for who we are.  You know, I think Marilyn Monroe was wrong.  Diamonds are not a girl’s best friend – dogs are!

THE RIVER OF LIFE

In Thomastown where we live, we are very fortunate to be within five minutes walk of two charming rivers from Kilfane and Mong.  They are beautiful small rivers that babble and flow with such vigour that they can only bring joy.  When I get up early in the morning to walk by the two rivers, our two rescue dogs Sunny and Sylvie can hardly believe their luck: their howls of delight are almost human!

I have to confess that I am no great fan of jogging.  My first attempt at doing a 10k fundraising jog ended up with me fainting and waking up in an ambulance.  I was taken to Jervis St Hospital where I had worked as a student nurse – all very embarrassing!  The problem was that I had done no training for the run, even though I thought I was fit and expected to do well.  My lifestyle then simply didn’t include enough exercise: I now know that we need to move our bodies to stay healthy.

So although I still don’t enjoy running, with nature in on my doorstep, I find it easy to gently jog to the rivers with our dogs.  As I sit by the riverbank, I reflect that we too have a river that runs through us: the blood that flows through our body.  When we are working with this energy flow, moving our body, being fully present in life and supporting the flow with positive thoughts, then we are like the river that flows freely in the right direction with no blockages to affect its energy.  But how many of us try to swim against the natural flow of life?  We criticise ourselves, we worry too much, we are too sedentary, and we fail to shift the negative debris that can block our flow at any time.    

Often I will see a branch or stick caught in the middle of the river, but when I return the next day, it has been washed away.  We need to take the same approach with the debris that clutters up our own lives – simply imagine that it has been washed away and can no longer interrupt our natural flow!

Every time we walk, jump or run, our cells benefit from the fact that we are moving, helping the energy in our bodies to flow in the right direction, and making us feel better both inwardly and outwardly.  So like those rivers, get moving!

BE IN TOUCH

“To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die.” (Thomas Campbell)

“Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.”  (David Searls)

 

When someone we love dies, it is important to keep their memory alive.  You can create a wonderful feeling of being in touch with them in a number of ways.  You can continue to share the ups and downs in your life with them in your mind.  You can tell them what you think and figure out what they might say back to you.  You can imagine phoning them to tell them of something that happened or how mutual friends and relations are doing.  Or you can do something practical like planting a rose bush or apple tree in their memory.

One of my favourite books on this subject is “There are no Goodbyes” by Paddy McMahon (see www.paddymcmahon.com).  It’s a wonderful read and helps people to understand the process of life and death.  Having often recommended it, I know his beautifully simple words have brought great comfort, solace and understanding to different family members.

It may sound a little strange, but talking in your mind to loved ones who have passed on is a great way of keeping happy memories of them alive, and can be very comforting. 

My own much-loved uncle recently passed away, and he requested that the following prayer be read out at his funeral in his memory.  It’s a very old prayer that was taught to him by his grandmother when he was a small boy.  I share it in the hope that it too brings some solace to anyone who has lost a loved one and helps to ease their pain.

A Prayer for bedtime

Jesus tender shepherd hear me, Bless thy little lamb tonight

Through the darkness be Thou near me, Keep me safe till morning’s light

All this day Thy hand has led me, And I thank Thee for Thy care

Thou has clothed, warmed and fed me, Listen to my bedtime prayer

Let my sins be all forgiven, Bless the friends I love so well

Take us all at last to Heaven, Happy there with Thee to dwell.

TAKE A MINI BREAK … AND A MINI-MINI ONE TOO!

If you are unable to take a full holiday this year, then why not take a mini-break?  It can be reviving, recharge your batteries and relax your body … and in some respects it can be just as much of a tonic as a proper holiday – no queues at the airport, no visas or passports, no big pack, no big organisation!

Take a day trip or a night away and go to see one of the sights in Ireland you have always wanted to visit but never quite found the time.  It could be somewhere a few hours drive away or it could be on your doorstep: Dublin Zoo, Cork English market and the Titanic exhibition in Belfast, or Hook lighthouse and Kilkenny Castle.  If you are organising a break with your partner, make it a romantic and intimate.  If you are planning a trip with your kids, make it a surprise for them, and bring out your own inner child and sense of playfulness. 

When you take time out, you are showing to yourself that you are worthy of enjoying life.  The universe is mirroring what you are doing to yourself: when it sees you enjoying life, it brings more joy into your life.  So be kind to yourself in your thoughts and in your deeds, and in no time you will feel better.   The process of allowing yourself time to prepare and pack (lightly!) for a day trip or night away can give you as much enjoyment and anticipation as a longer trip, especially if you plan several trips throughout the coming months.

If a mini-break is not possible, then try a mini-mini break!  By this I mean taking a break from your desk or your chores.  Sit down somewhere quiet or better still lie down, close your eyes, and think of something that has nothing to do with work or chores for ten minutes.  Picture yourself on a sunny beach, dancing with friends, ski-ing down a mountain or enjoying a beautiful view: recall a happy memory that makes you feel good.  If your mind wanders, gently guide it back to the original focus.  When you open your eyes, you will feel refreshed again.  Even if you can’t do a mini-mini break at work, do this exercise as soon as you get home to feel the benefits.

Whether it’s a mini break or a mini-mini one, the process of allowing time for yourself will bring more peace, more well-being and more happiness into your life and the lives of those around you.  These breaks don’t cost a bunch of time or money to organise (and can even be free), but they are assets that bring in positive abundance into your life.  So what are you waiting for?  Organise that mini-break now, and find a few minutes every day for your mini-mini-break!

FLOWER POWER!

My birthday falls in March, and when my husband and children asked me what I wanted, I replied “My usual gift!” - in other words, flowers for the window boxes and flowerpots outside our house.

It gives me great pleasure and joy to see the window boxes full of flowers with different arrays of colours.  And seeing the daffodils in bloom after the long winter has a positive and uplifting effect on all of us.  Whether we realise it or not, colour can and does affect our mood.  In a similar way, the extra light we are now experiencing in the mornings and evenings has an influence on us.  When we have more light and colour in our lives, we breathe them in and feel it in our cells.  Our cells are sensitive to how we see, smell and feel.  But it is up to us to interpret these senses – do we like what we see or smell?  Do we choose how we feel in the moment of the now?  And if we don’t like something, then make the decision to change it to something more pleasing.  That’s why having flowers in my life always cheers me up – in every sense they really do brighten up my world!

When I was growing up on a farm in Co Galway, my mother took great pride in her flowers.  Our deep window sills were full of geraniums and the smell wafted through the house.  In the garden, the scent of wallflowers filled the air.  To this day, the smell of either of these flowers transports me right back to happy memories of my childhood.   

I took a bunch of flowers into hospital recently when visiting my sister there, but I wasn’t allowed to bring them into the ward.  I couldn’t believe it!  It seems flowers are now seen a source of infection.  What a pity.  At the very least, every hospital ward should have an area dedicated to plants and flowers.  As well as absorbing carbon dioxide and releasing oxygen, I believe that plants and flowers also absorb negativity and release a beautiful energy that helps people to feel happier and more balanced.  You only have to see the reaction of someone receiving an unexpected bunch of flowers to understand this!

When I go to see my elderly mother in the nursing home, I always take her flowers.  She is ninety, has Alzheimer’s, and is unable to talk.  But the smile it puts on her face when I put the flowers in a vase for her says it all, and I know they have cheered her up.  Knowing that it brightens her day each time she looks at her flowers makes me realise how powerful the magical energy of flowers really is.

ADHD - ATTENTION DUE TO HIGHER DIMENSION!

I recently gave a talk to parents whose children have been diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder).  I see many such children in my clinics.  Parents of ADHD kids may find that their children need very little sleep, are extremely active, have poor concentration and get distracted easily.  They may also have difficulty with absolute authority and do not like being controlled.  If their high energy levels are suppressed with medication like Ritalin, or if they feel like they do not belong, then they may suffer from low self-esteem, a lack of self-belief and no confidence in themselves.

I told the parents that based on my awareness of treating kids with ADHD over the years, I believe that it might also stand for “Attention Due to Higher Dimension.”  Sometimes it seems as if these children have come into this world with a higher – or different – vibration.  They know who they are, why they are here, and what they want to change.  Only they don’t always fit into the parents’ way of doing things, or into the school system (which they may want to change!).  They may have preferred ways of being taught and may resist rote learning, thus wreaking havoc in some cases, all because they simply do not fit in.

Dr David Weeks of the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland conducted over a thousand interviews with children diagnosed with ADHD.  He found they shared three primary characteristics: (1) a strong will, (2) a good sense of humour and (3) a creative imagination.  I would also add from my experiences that they are often very sensitive: sensitive to certain types of food (ie allergies) and sensitive to other people’s energies, especially if negative!  They can sense integrity and know when they are being lied to.  They almost demand respect and will not give it to others if they feel people are talking down to them.  They can be very compassionate, but may have many fears, particularly of death or of losing a loved one.

If they experience failure in early life, they may give up and develop permanent learning blocks. Sadly, they may then turn their destructiveness on to themselves.  They can also suffer from low blood sugar, leading to mood swings and fatigue problems because their energy levels are unbalanced.  So there are positives and negatives of having kids with ADHD. 

At the end of my talk, a few parents said how lovely it was to focus on seeing ADHD in a positive light, as they felt that often there is negative bias.  Their kids are very imaginative and gifted, and they choose to do only what they want and to work where their gifts lie!  They are here to help create a foundation of honesty and integrity, and to make other people snap out of their cosy existences and see the world in a different way.

So what can be done to help kids with ADHD?

Nutritionally, two things are especially important.  First cut out sugar, as it can interfere with the pancreas, wreaking havoc with the blood sugar levels and hence the child’s mood.  Essential fatty acids (EFA’s) omega 3, 6 and 9 are also very beneficial for children with ADHD.  EFA’s cannot be made by the body and must be ingested.  They can be taken as a supplement, or are found in olive / sunflower / hemp / fish oils.  These EFA’s facilitate the transmission of the nerve impulses that are needed for normal brain functions.  They also support energy metabolism and help us to handle stress.

As parents, teachers, guardians and carers, we all have a responsibility to try and understand these kids and teenagers.  They are very good at sensing integrity and intuitively know when people are lying to them.  In particular, they do not like to be spoken down to.  I have heard the following words on numerous occasions: “I feel misunderstood and nobody really listens to me.  Why can’t people accept me for who I am, and stop trying to change me?” 

Adults have a tendency to believe that we are OK and that the child has the problem.  Kids with ADHD will not allow you to keep deluding yourself!  If you continue to ignore or hide behind your fears, then these children may create havoc.  Frequently, when a child has a behavioural issue, the parents or teachers can get very stressed, lose their perspective and become immersed in the problem.  Children respond to this negative energy and judgement, and their behaviour deteriorates.  It’s not that children live your life, doing exactly what they want when they want without restriction or respect.  Children need parenting.  They need well defined boundaries with consistent and fair discipline.  And they need to be listened to!

Every child comes into this world with a need.  That need is to be “loved.”  This love is unconditional.  You love your child freely for who they are, without placing conditions or judgement on that love.  Love heals all relationships, dissolves all negative behaviours and brings harmony to every situation.      

I sometimes feel that we as a society are guilty of losing perspective about children with ADHD.  Yes, they are different, and yes they can sometimes be hard work … but if we could only step back and focus a little more on all their positive characteristics and attributes, we might see the situation in a different light … and more importantly, the children themselves would feel more appreciated, valued and understood.

The First Primrose of Spring

Saturday is housework day in the Gardner household, and last Saturday was no exception.  With four kids, weekends are always a busy time, and as usual we had a tight schedule to get all the chores done before Mum and Dad’s taxi service started work!  My husband and I usually walk our two dogs together at the weekend, but as there were so many chores to do and so little time, I told him to walk the dogs on his own.  We are extremely lucky where we live: right behind us are wonderful open fields and streams where the local farmer lets us walk our dogs.

A couple of minutes after he left, my husband called me on my mobile.  “It’s far too beautiful a day to stay at home.  Just drop everything and come for a walk.  We can do the housework tomorrow!”  And although I felt a bit guilty about leaving the house untidy, I dropped everything and joined him and our two dogs.  And boy! – was I glad I did.  Last Saturday was simply a gorgeous day, the first real taste of spring we have had so far this year.  The sun was shining, the birds were singing, not a cloud in sight, and it was so warm it could have been a summer’s day.  Bliss!  And as we walked through the fields, in a sheltered, sunny spot we found some primroses – the first of the year.  Despite all the gloom, recession, bail-outs and household charges, those simple primroses lifted my heart and made me feel good about the arrival of spring and the end of winter.

As we walked back to the (untidy!) house, I thought to myself how glad I was that my husband had called.  Had I stayed at home, we might have had a tidy house, but I would have missed out on the delight of that lovely walk with my husband and dogs, and the uplifting joy of seeing those primroses.  It’s so true that the simple pleasures are often the best ones!

So take a step back and ask yourself “Have I got my priorities right?”  Sometimes we get caught up in the merry-go-round of life, rushing from task to task, always striving and never arriving.  Or if we do give ourselves a break, we feel guilty about all the other things we ought to be doing.  Of course, by Sunday evening the house was tidy, and the world hadn’t stopped turning!  And I know where I’ll be next Saturday if we are lucky enough to have another beautiful spring day.  Remember: nobody ever said on their deathbed “I wish I’d done more housework!”    

Healing Hurts

Why do we hurt so easily?  Why can’t we just let go of our disappointments, our anger, the put-downs against us and the bad way we feel when someone says something that upsets us?  In some instances, we do let things go, but in other cases we can hang on to the hurt for months, years or even a lifetime.

We’ve all been hurt at some stage in our lives.  We think: How could they say that?  How could they be so unkind?  How dare they put me down!  Who do they think they are?  Every time we think of the person, the situation and the pain, it brings with it an emotion.  That emotion, if unpleasant, will make us feel sad, angry, bitter, jealous and so on.  The hurt, and the person who caused it, still have power over us.  Worse still, if we are hurting, we may also be our own worst enemy.  When we are feeling our own hurts inside us – often unconsciously, in other words unaware to ourselves – then we are in a prime position to attract more of the same into our lives! 

So how can we stop the hurt?  The first step is forgiveness, but not to the perpetrator of the hurt.  No, first we have to forgive ourselves, and stop being so hard on ourselves.  Then recognise that we all have the power within us to change the hurtful thought when it comes up.  When you think of the hurt, just say “STOP!  DELETE!” and begin to shake it out of your whole mind and body experience.  If you don’t let go, you might get a headache, a sore throat, high blood pressure, bad skin or worse: holding on to hurt can and does affect the body over time! 

Think to yourself: do you want the hurt to carry on and have a negative influence on you for the rest of your life?  Or would you prefer to break its power over you and look forward to a brighter, more positive future?  When you put it in these terms, it’s not a difficult choice!  I know from personal experience that letting go of hurt is more easily said than done … but I also know the benefits you will enjoy if you do so, and the damage you will do to yourself if you don’t!  You don’t necessarily have to forgive the other person (although it’s better if you can), but you do have to forgive yourself to break the vicious circle of hurt simply causing more hurt.

So next time you feel a hurtful thought coming up, make a conscious decision to change it to something positive.  Say to yourself: 

• I now choose to be kind to myself in my thoughts.
• I choose to accept myself.
• I choose to enjoy my day.
• I choose to dissolve all pain and anger attached to this situation, and in doing so I am acknowledging the love I have inside me!

Remember that love and hurt are lying side by side.  Look to your left and there is pain and anger.  But look right and there is inner peace, contentment and love.  All it takes is a 51% pull in the right direction to get there!  Choose the way that allows you to dismiss other people’s issues and not let them get inside you.  You cannot change other people, but you can change yourself! 

HOMEOPATHY FOR COUGHS & COLDS

Dear Breda, My three year old daughter keeps getting repeated coughs and colds with sore throats and ear infections.  She has had numerous antibiotics and yet she still gets ill again!  She has fatigue, wakes up coughing at night and won’t settle.  I’m now exhausted too!  Homeopathic remedies have helped my best friend’s kids, and she swears by it.  So can you recommend anything to help my daughter?  I am concerned for her, and worry that if she doesn’t get better, the next stage of her treatment will be inhalers and steroids, and I don’t want to go down that road.  Regards.  Pam.   

Dear Pam, Of course you are exhausted and anxious, like any concerned parent would be!  Antibiotics will work when there is a bacterial infection, but if she is suffering from a virus, they will have no effect at all on your daughter, and her symptoms may be further pushed into the body, suppressing her vital force / energy and creating fatigue.  When a cough lingers on for months, it may then be diagnosed as bronchitis, pneumonia or asthma, but there may be a simpler explanation, and there are alternatives to inhalers and steroids. As ever, if you have any concerns, consult with a registered health professional. 

I would start by looking at your daughter’s diet.  First, try removing the most common allergens – cow’s milk and wheat – and see if that improves her condition.  Cow’s milk is acidic and can create excess mucous and catarrh which may result in a cough or ear infections as the body tries to discharge the overload.  Replace the wheat with rye, oat, rice, spelt or gluten-free bread.  Encourage your daughter to drink plenty of water to help dilute the acid build up in the body and to help eliminate the toxins.

Homeopathy could also help.  The beauty of homeopathic medicine is that it is gentle and non-toxic for the body.  It works by stimulating the body’s own healing mechanisms, thus helping the person to heal themselves.  There are six potential remedies that I would recommend for your daughter: match her symptoms to the remedy.  If you are unsure, you can give remedies of the same potency together.  You can buy the remedies at health shops or pharmacies.  Give a 30 potency 4 hourly on the first day and 8 hourly for one to two weeks until your daughter is better for at least 2 days. 

Aconite: this remedy should be in everyone’s first aid kit at home!  Use Aconite at the first sign of any cough, cold or inflammation (within 12 – 24 hours of signs / symptoms appearing).  Aconite helps you to breathe more easily by opening the airways: it also helps to release fears and shocks, thus making the patient more relaxed.  Use when symptoms of cough / cold / temperature come on suddenly, and are worse after exposure to cold, dry wind.  The associated cough is usually hoarse, dry and painful.  

Belladonna: this remedy is sometimes described as a natural Paracetamol, and it helps to bring down a high temperature.  Use when the following symptoms are present: both cheeks blazing red, possibly accompanied by a headache.  Patient feels extremely hot.  Barking cough with sore throat.  Right-sided earache.

Hepar Sulph: this remedy is like a natural antibiotic for ear, nose and throat infections.  Use if the cough is painful and barking, phlegm is thick and yellowish green, and chest is rattley.  The patient may feel bad-tempered, irritable and weak.  They may also feel the cold easily, and like to have their head covered, even when indoors!  They may also be better for warm drinks.        

Arsenicum: good for colds that start in the nose.  Typically there is a thin, watery, burning discharge from the nose, and the patient sneezes a lot, with a wheezy cough.  They may feel hot in the head yet chilly in the body, and will only take small sips of water.  Other symptoms include being anxious and restless, worse for lying down (so elevate with pillows on the top of the bed), and better for sitting up.  Arsenicum helps the airways to open, releases anxiety from the body, and makes the patient feel more relaxed.  It’s a great remedy to help bring in more inner peace into the body.  

Pulsatilla: this is a great remedy for ear-ache especially if left sided.  Discharges from the BODY/NOSE are thick, BLAND/BLOND and yellow-green.  If the patient is a child, they may be moody, whingey, clingy and tearful.  They may have no thirst, or thirstlessness even with a fever.  They are also worse for a warm, stuffy room, and better for being in the open fresh air.  They won’t like the dark and like to have a light left on as they feel abandoned and can take ages to get off to sleep.  Pulsatilla helps to clear out the toxic build-up in the lymphatic system, ie from the tonsils, ears and so on.

Lycopodium: use where the cough is worse for lying down, and the patient wakes up constantly at 4 am.  Symptoms include a thick, yellow and offensive discharge, deafness (or echoes in the ears), and an angry mood due to feeling insecure – they like to know you are nearby!  They may also crave sweets, and eat very little.  Lycopodium helps to detox the body, reduces the craving for sweets and encourages the appetite.  

To learn more about the benefits of homeopathy, why not come along to my Homeopathic First Aid & Positive Living Course in Kilkenny and Waterford starting in March 2012 – call me on 087 2025753 for more details, or see my website www.bredagardner.com.  The course aims to give you the confidence to be able to prescribe homeopathic remedies for minor ailments, and I also cover the importance of diet, plus recommendations on boosting your immune system.