“To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die.” (Thomas Campbell)
“Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.” (David Searls)
When someone we love dies, it is important to keep their memory alive. You can create a wonderful feeling of being in touch with them in a number of ways. You can continue to share the ups and downs in your life with them in your mind. You can tell them what you think and figure out what they might say back to you. You can imagine phoning them to tell them of something that happened or how mutual friends and relations are doing. Or you can do something practical like planting a rose bush or apple tree in their memory.
One of my favourite books on this subject is “There are no Goodbyes” by Paddy McMahon (see www.paddymcmahon.com). It’s a wonderful read and helps people to understand the process of life and death. Having often recommended it, I know his beautifully simple words have brought great comfort, solace and understanding to different family members.
It may sound a little strange, but talking in your mind to loved ones who have passed on is a great way of keeping happy memories of them alive, and can be very comforting.
My own much-loved uncle recently passed away, and he requested that the following prayer be read out at his funeral in his memory. It’s a very old prayer that was taught to him by his grandmother when he was a small boy. I share it in the hope that it too brings some solace to anyone who has lost a loved one and helps to ease their pain.
A Prayer for bedtime
Jesus tender shepherd hear me, Bless thy little lamb tonight
Through the darkness be Thou near me, Keep me safe till morning’s light
All this day Thy hand has led me, And I thank Thee for Thy care
Thou has clothed, warmed and fed me, Listen to my bedtime prayer
Let my sins be all forgiven, Bless the friends I love so well
Take us all at last to Heaven, Happy there with Thee to dwell.
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