BALANCE IN ALL THINGS

I recently wrote about the importance of balancing our mind, body and spirit.  When our mind is balanced, we can think clearly, make decisions that feel right, and are kind to ourselves in our thoughts.  Our body is the vehicle carries us through life.  It needs sufficient inputs of energy and care to perform our daily activities such as working, walking, cleaning, cooking, playing and so on.  We all want a body that serves us well and delivers health and well-being.  Our spirit is the part of us that knows what we love to do.  It is our passion, our purpose and our very life force.  We feel more connected to mind and body when we tune into our spirit.

Deep within our being there is an infinite well of love, joy, inner peace and inner wisdom.  This is true for everybody.  Nobody is exempt.  Yet how often do we tune into this part of us?  We are all too busy running, some of us racing, and some of us not even having any idea where to start. When we are unbalanced like this, negative thoughts can take over, sometimes without us even being aware.  These negative thoughts can have ill effects on our racing mind and depleted body.

We all have feelings as we are sensory human beings.  But if we are blocked emotionally, then we cannot or do not know how we feel.  It may also be that we have blocked what we feel so effectively that we become emotionless, thus creating negativity, and, in time, even a physically diseased body.

We all deserve to feel good.  Our thoughts, our beliefs, our emotions and our feelings are all part of an invisible world that has a direct influence on our physical body.  When we become aware of this significant influence – and when we set aside a little time daily to work on balancing the different aspects of ourselves – then our life and the world around us can become a better place to be.  

To learn more about this subject, why not come along to my latest positive living workshop “Balancing our Mind, Body & Spirit” on Thursday 27^th September from 8.00 – 9.30 pm at the Edmund Rice Centre, Barrack St, Waterford, cost €10.  No need to book – simply turn on the night.  See www.bredgardner.com for more details, or call 087 2025753.

GET THE BALANCE RIGHT

 Recently I had a really interesting discussion with some friends about what good health really means.  Many people equate good health with strong physical health, but for me there is much more to it than that.  To enjoy true well-being, I believe that the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of our bodies need to be in balance.  I picture those aspects as four legs of a chair: if one leg is not there or if it is out of kilter with the other legs, then the chair will wobble or even fall over!

When our emotions are in balance, we tend to feel happier and contented.  I have always believed that happy people are healthier people.  Emotions like anger and frustration can cause high blood pressure, rapid heart-beat and palpitations.  This demonstrates the obvious and direct connection between a person’s emotions and their health, and the same is true of their mental state.  If you know someone who suffers from cold sores, they will tell you that they are more likely to suffer from them when they are feeling low or depressed.  The old adage “Healthy Mind, Healthy Body” rings as true as it ever did!

My husband recently completed a course in Shamanism, one of the oldest and most widespread religions in the world.  Shamans believe that illness and imbalance in the body are directly related to our spiritual health.  In other words, if a person’s spiritual health is in a bad way, this may be reflected in their physical well-being.  This age-old wisdom has been largely lost in the modern world, but the idea that our spiritual and physical health are inextricably linked seems eminently sensible to me.  The primary focus of religion is tending to people’s spiritual health, and now at last we can see religions slowly moving away from power, politics and preserving their reputation, and moving back towards meeting the spiritual needs of their believers. 

If you go and see a doctor, they will certainly treat your physical symptoms.  Sometimes they may understand the mental and emotional dimensions, but equally they may not fully consider the influence that your conscious and subconscious mind has on your health.  Of course, it is not a doctor’s primary job to attend to your spiritual health, but it may be a lack of spiritual happiness that is causing imbalance in your body.  It is only when we understand the importance of balancing those four chair legs that we can feel truly connected to our true selves and enjoy lasting good health and well-being.

PS  My positive living workshops recommence on Thursday 20^th September from 8.00 – 9.30 pm at the Edmund Rice Centre, starting with “Trust Your Intuition” – more details next week.  

THE CYCLES OF LIFE (PMT)

Dear Breda, My 15 year old daughter misses school a lot with terrible menstrual cramps and PMT.  She takes a lot of Ponston but it is not very effective.  Can you suggest any natural alternatives?  Sandra.

Dear Sandra,

What a misfortune for your daughter.  Just like the various flows and rhythms of nature, the menstrual cycle is part of the process of life.  The rise and fall of the sun and the ebb and flow of the tides are mirrored in our bodies, our waking and sleeping cycles, the seasons and the rhythmic flow of our blood.  

As many as 50% of women experience various physical symptoms prior to or during menstruation.  Symptoms include cramps, breast tenderness, water retention, moodiness, irritability, headaches, backaches, insomnia, fatigue and food cravings.  There are many natural approaches you can take to help ease these symptoms, so ask your daughter to try the following:

Eat a low fat diet coming up to your periods.  Milk and dairy products have been known to increase calcium levels, thus disturbing the calcium magnesium balance in the body and leading to cramps and heavy periods.  Try coconut, hazelnut, soya, almond or rice milk instead.

Regular exercise can help to reduce PMT.  Exercise increases the brain secretion of natural painkiller endorphins, relaxes muscles and improves circulation.

Avoid coffee, and reduce intake of tea, chocolate, colas and salt.

Evening primrose oil, linseeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds are all excellent source of essential fatty acids which can help to reduce PMT.

Homeopathic medicine is naturally effective and has no side effects.  Magnesium Phosphate is indicated when warmth (eg a hot water bottle) or doubling up helps to relieve menstrual cramps.  Use Colocynthis for irritability and when menstrual pain forces you to double up.  Pulsatilla and Ignatia are wonderful remedies for the emotional swings of PMT.  Pulsatilla is for the weepy, moody, self-pitying PMT woman, whilst Ignatia is for someone who feels irritable, misunderstood and broody. 

Take a 30 potency one to three hourly during the discomfort.  Stop taking the remedy if the pain stops or if there is no relief after 48 hours.         

ALWAYS READ THE LABEL!

Last week, my husband Jerry had a small operation, and was advised to use ibuprofen as a painkiller.  The doctor told him to take the tablets with food.  However, when he went to bed that evening, Jerry swallowed the pills with water, not food.  In the middle of the night, he woke up wheezing and  covered in red, itchy hives.  Unsure as to the cause, he read the paperwork that came with the ibuprofen.  It takes a lot to shock him, but he was shocked at what he found.

The guidelines said to stop taking the medicine and tell your doctor if you experienced: unexplained wheezing, shortness of breath, skin rash, itching, bruising, facial swelling, indigestion, heartburn, abdominal pain, yellowing of skin and whites of the eye, eye pain, blurred vision, sore mouth, difficulty passing urine, hallucination, swollen ankles, severe blistering or peeling of the skin, anaemia and severe sore throat.  The list of mild side effects included stomach discomfort, nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, indigestion, flatulence, weight gain, headaches, tinnitus, tiredness, pins and needles and constipation.  But there’s more!  Rare side effects included confusion, depression, dizziness, vertigo, blood disorders, kidney / liver failure, colitis or Crohn’s disease, severe itching, hives (we got there eventually!), high blood pressure and aseptic meningitis.  Even after all that there was still more!

When I see people in my clinics, I always ask them to bring along any medication they are taking.  You would be surprised at how often their presenting condition is matched by a side effect of the medication.  Just like my husband, they hadn’t bothered to read the paperwork.

We are lucky in Ireland to have a superb network of pharmacists, and if you have any doubts about the side effects of your medication, they can advise you.  With medication, it is vital to follow the instructions about not only dosage but also how to take it.  My husband had no reaction to the ibuprofen when he took it with food.  After breaking out in hives, he stopped taking the ibuprofen immediately and changed to Paracetamol – but not before reading accompanying paperwork thoroughly!

HEALING HURTS

Every one of us gets hurt at some stage in our lives.  If we are truly honest with ourselves, we feel our own pain as well as the pain of others.  People often say to me “I have been hurt, but I cannot express my anger, what can I do?”  I say “Just for now, begin to look immediately within yourself and ask yourself why you are hurting.”

Hurt is a negative memory that still has the power to upset us.  But we have a choice: we can allow that memory to still have influence over us, or we can try and break its hold over us.  It is not always an easy thing to do, but it can be done.  Helen Keller said “The world is full of suffering, it is also full of people overcoming it.”

The first step is to be fully aware that the negative memory is causing the hurt, and then to accept that the hurt is of no use to us.  Say to yourself “Thank you for my life lesson.  I am aware of being hurt.  I now release anything in my past and present that does not serve my higher good.  So be it.”  Don’t be too hard on yourself.  In fact, do the opposite: be kind to yourself! 

Psychologist Dr Howlen says that everything you seek and experience is inside of you.  If you want to change anything, you do it inside, not outside.  The whole idea is total responsibility.  But there is no blame here.  It is no-one’s fault: not yours, and not the person who caused the hurt.  It may be hard to forgive yourself, but it can be even harder to forgive the other person.  But true healing will never take place until you forgive both you and them.

The universe is always sending us messages that are inspiring to our true self.  But if negative memories and feelings take over, we cannot hear our true self, let alone act on it.  We are sometimes too busy with the noise in our heads to hear the truth!

CONSTIPATION

 Dear Breda, My seven year old son suffers from constipation.  Can you recommend any natural remedies to help?  Thanks.  Rachel.

Dear Rachel,

An old Chinese proverb states “There is no disease but stagnation, no remedy but circulation.”  Our large intestine is about 5 feet long and our small intestine about 20 feet, so at one level, it is amazing that anything finds its way through our body!  Although constipation in itself is not an illness, it is a symptom that something is wrong.  Does your son have a poor diet?  Is there stress in his life?  Is he exposed to certain toxic substances?  Is he on mediation which has side-effects?  Is he getting enough exercise?  Is he using constipation as a means of grabbing your attention?

Constipation can be extremely uncomfortable, and may lead to a general state of lowered health, with sluggishness both physically and mentally.  If not treated, it can lead to bad breath and body odour, haemorrhoids, diverticulitis (infection / inflammation of the large intestine) and other health ailments.

I have seen children with constipation who have perfect diets, so it is important to understand the other potential factors, such as constitution, genetics, lifestyle, emotional upset, geopathic and electromagnetic stress.  Whilst diet is the most common reason for constipation, I have seen many patients – especially children - where the maintaining cause was something quite different and not immediately obvious.   All things considered, the following advice may be of assistance:

Diet: the best sources of fibre are grains, legumes, fresh fruit and vegetables.  Introduce slowly as they can cause gas and diarrhoea.

Drink 6 to 8 glasses of water daily.

Add linseeds or flaxseeds to your son’s cereals. 

Take one tablespoon of olive oil with the juice of one lemon just before bedtime and upon getting up in the morning.  This helps to stimulate liver function, and improves overall digestion and elimination of food.

Certain foods such as milk, cheese, white flour products and iron supplements can cause constipation.  Record and scrutinise your son’s diet, as there may be something obvious which is causing the problem.

It is sometimes useful to get your son to sit on the toilet at the same time ever day.  This may create a signal to the body to defecate.

I have found homeopathic remedies to be extremely gentle and effective in treating constipation.  The most common ones used are Nat Mur (aids assimilation and absorption, and treats emotional upset), Lycopodium (aids liver function, enhances appetite and boosts confidence), Nux Vomica (number 1 remedy for irritable bowel syndrome, helps to ground and balance the energy in the body), and Pulsatilla (aids circulation and self-esteem, and is great for constipation if craving dairy products). 

If diet is the underlying cause of your son’s constipation, the above advice may help, but as ever, it is important to play the “health detective.”   By this I mean taking a dispassionate look at your son’s life and considering whether there are other factors at play: did the problem start when he changed school, began taking a certain medication or eating a certain food, moved house or lost a loved one?  Diet is the common maintaining cause of constipation, but be aware that there are many other potential causes too.

DOGS, NOT DIAMONDS!

 Regular readers will know that I am a big dog lover.  Last week I wrote about the delights of walking by my local rivers with our two rescue dogs, and how we should let energy flow through our bodies like the rivers flow through the countryside.  After writing that article, I began to think about how not just rivers but also dogs have so many lessons to teach us.

When I get home from work, my two dogs Sunny and Sylvie don’t greet me with complaints about how tired they are, or how difficult their homework is, or how bad the weather is.  They are simply overjoyed to welcome me home.  Think about it when you get home next, or when you are welcoming a loved one home: do you bound to the door with delight, or do you growl and complain about your day?  Which welcome would you rather receive?

Our dogs also enjoy the simple things in life.  Sometimes, when she is out walking (or more accurately, running!), Sunny will just take a huge jump for joy: she is totally alive, living for the moment, and enjoying herself.  She is not thinking about all the complications in her life: she is just running free and revelling in the world around her.  When was the last time you did that?

The only thing Sunny and Sylvie love more than their walks is their “rubadubs.”  They are both very affectionate dogs, and everyone in our family regularly strokes and pets them.  The dogs appreciate the attention, and it’s really relaxing and rewarding for the person doing the stroking … so maybe we should show the same amount of affection and care to the loved ones around us!

Dogs never judge us.  They love us unconditionally and don’t bear grudges.  We can talk to them and they will listen to our problems without answering back.  They do not expect too much – just feeding, walking and stroking - and they greatly appreciate everything that we do for them.  Above all, they are loyal and love us for who we are.  You know, I think Marilyn Monroe was wrong.  Diamonds are not a girl’s best friend – dogs are!

THE RIVER OF LIFE

In Thomastown where we live, we are very fortunate to be within five minutes walk of two charming rivers from Kilfane and Mong.  They are beautiful small rivers that babble and flow with such vigour that they can only bring joy.  When I get up early in the morning to walk by the two rivers, our two rescue dogs Sunny and Sylvie can hardly believe their luck: their howls of delight are almost human!

I have to confess that I am no great fan of jogging.  My first attempt at doing a 10k fundraising jog ended up with me fainting and waking up in an ambulance.  I was taken to Jervis St Hospital where I had worked as a student nurse – all very embarrassing!  The problem was that I had done no training for the run, even though I thought I was fit and expected to do well.  My lifestyle then simply didn’t include enough exercise: I now know that we need to move our bodies to stay healthy.

So although I still don’t enjoy running, with nature in on my doorstep, I find it easy to gently jog to the rivers with our dogs.  As I sit by the riverbank, I reflect that we too have a river that runs through us: the blood that flows through our body.  When we are working with this energy flow, moving our body, being fully present in life and supporting the flow with positive thoughts, then we are like the river that flows freely in the right direction with no blockages to affect its energy.  But how many of us try to swim against the natural flow of life?  We criticise ourselves, we worry too much, we are too sedentary, and we fail to shift the negative debris that can block our flow at any time.    

Often I will see a branch or stick caught in the middle of the river, but when I return the next day, it has been washed away.  We need to take the same approach with the debris that clutters up our own lives – simply imagine that it has been washed away and can no longer interrupt our natural flow!

Every time we walk, jump or run, our cells benefit from the fact that we are moving, helping the energy in our bodies to flow in the right direction, and making us feel better both inwardly and outwardly.  So like those rivers, get moving!

BE IN TOUCH

“To live in the hearts of those we love is never to die.” (Thomas Campbell)

“Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.”  (David Searls)

 

When someone we love dies, it is important to keep their memory alive.  You can create a wonderful feeling of being in touch with them in a number of ways.  You can continue to share the ups and downs in your life with them in your mind.  You can tell them what you think and figure out what they might say back to you.  You can imagine phoning them to tell them of something that happened or how mutual friends and relations are doing.  Or you can do something practical like planting a rose bush or apple tree in their memory.

One of my favourite books on this subject is “There are no Goodbyes” by Paddy McMahon (see www.paddymcmahon.com).  It’s a wonderful read and helps people to understand the process of life and death.  Having often recommended it, I know his beautifully simple words have brought great comfort, solace and understanding to different family members.

It may sound a little strange, but talking in your mind to loved ones who have passed on is a great way of keeping happy memories of them alive, and can be very comforting. 

My own much-loved uncle recently passed away, and he requested that the following prayer be read out at his funeral in his memory.  It’s a very old prayer that was taught to him by his grandmother when he was a small boy.  I share it in the hope that it too brings some solace to anyone who has lost a loved one and helps to ease their pain.

A Prayer for bedtime

Jesus tender shepherd hear me, Bless thy little lamb tonight

Through the darkness be Thou near me, Keep me safe till morning’s light

All this day Thy hand has led me, And I thank Thee for Thy care

Thou has clothed, warmed and fed me, Listen to my bedtime prayer

Let my sins be all forgiven, Bless the friends I love so well

Take us all at last to Heaven, Happy there with Thee to dwell.

TAKE A MINI BREAK … AND A MINI-MINI ONE TOO!

If you are unable to take a full holiday this year, then why not take a mini-break?  It can be reviving, recharge your batteries and relax your body … and in some respects it can be just as much of a tonic as a proper holiday – no queues at the airport, no visas or passports, no big pack, no big organisation!

Take a day trip or a night away and go to see one of the sights in Ireland you have always wanted to visit but never quite found the time.  It could be somewhere a few hours drive away or it could be on your doorstep: Dublin Zoo, Cork English market and the Titanic exhibition in Belfast, or Hook lighthouse and Kilkenny Castle.  If you are organising a break with your partner, make it a romantic and intimate.  If you are planning a trip with your kids, make it a surprise for them, and bring out your own inner child and sense of playfulness. 

When you take time out, you are showing to yourself that you are worthy of enjoying life.  The universe is mirroring what you are doing to yourself: when it sees you enjoying life, it brings more joy into your life.  So be kind to yourself in your thoughts and in your deeds, and in no time you will feel better.   The process of allowing yourself time to prepare and pack (lightly!) for a day trip or night away can give you as much enjoyment and anticipation as a longer trip, especially if you plan several trips throughout the coming months.

If a mini-break is not possible, then try a mini-mini break!  By this I mean taking a break from your desk or your chores.  Sit down somewhere quiet or better still lie down, close your eyes, and think of something that has nothing to do with work or chores for ten minutes.  Picture yourself on a sunny beach, dancing with friends, ski-ing down a mountain or enjoying a beautiful view: recall a happy memory that makes you feel good.  If your mind wanders, gently guide it back to the original focus.  When you open your eyes, you will feel refreshed again.  Even if you can’t do a mini-mini break at work, do this exercise as soon as you get home to feel the benefits.

Whether it’s a mini break or a mini-mini one, the process of allowing time for yourself will bring more peace, more well-being and more happiness into your life and the lives of those around you.  These breaks don’t cost a bunch of time or money to organise (and can even be free), but they are assets that bring in positive abundance into your life.  So what are you waiting for?  Organise that mini-break now, and find a few minutes every day for your mini-mini-break!