Always Striving, Never Arriving

At certain stages in our lives, it may feel like we are always striving and never arriving … as if something better is just around the corner, but we can never quite get there.

No matter where you are, what you do or whatever your circumstances, you are always with yourself.  And what does that mean?  To be with yourself means feeling life and experiencing all of its ups and downs.  The burdens, the guilt, the weariness, the isolation and the sorrows of humanity … but also the joys, inner peace, love, laughter, happiness and sheer blissfulness of being alive.

At different times in your life, you may look to organisations, religions, associations, family, friends and other people to help you find yourself.  You may keep looking for answers which never come.  Sometimes the racing mind never stops, it just gets faster and faster, constantly buzzing like an electric pylon, leaving you tired and confused.  Should I go left or right?  What am I doing wrong?  Am I any good at anything as nothing seems to be working out the way I thought it should.  The answers never come, as the noise in the head drowns out the sound of inner knowing, truth and peace.

So how to stop the noise?  The first step is to accept that you are doing your best, regardless of any outside pressures.  This acceptance helps to release tension, like the value on a pressure cooker, and creates more space for new ideas and new outlook.  And just as importantly, it gives you hope.  In this simple act of self-acceptance, you can start to see how the small pleasures in life can bring you much joy.

On finding yourself, you lift the pressure and tension from your head, shoulders and heart.  The mind stops racing, it starts to listen to the body, and the body starts to respond to the more positive thoughts in the head.  Small pleasures become a great joy.  Finding yourself and doing simple things which bring you joy is your lottery ticket to health and well-being, and makes your journey through life a wonderful adventure.

S…T…R…E…S…S!

Stress is everywhere and we can’t avoid it.  It’s in our everyday lives, in our health and well-being, in our finances, in our jobs, and in our relationships with ourselves and others.  But some people are under more stress than others.  Last weekend, I attended a charity fundraiser for the Society of St Vincent de Paul.  The organiser told a story about a family he knew that were in trouble.  He invited the head of the family to a restaurant to talk things over, but the guest felt guilty about being there.  They were offered the types of bread, and his guest said “You know, here I am being offered three types of bread, but at home I can’t even afford to put a slice on the table.”

There are many similar stories of people facing extremely challenging circumstances.  So how can we empower ourselves to help us to stay sane and tap into our own health and wellbeing?  It’s not always easy, so I hope that the following tips will encourage you to see the light instead of living in the darkness.  Sometimes we need a torch or a helping hand along the way.  So swallow your pride, and don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help.   

State how you feel.  Speak to someone, and don’t keep things bottled up inside.  Speak to a family member, a friend or a professional counsellor.  PCI College offer low-cost counselling (call 01 464 2268 for details of local services) or contact the SVP. 

Talk to yourself and tell yourself that you are doing your best, no matter how bad things are.  Frequently repeat to yourself “I am doing my best” so that you can feel it in your body.

Respond to stress rather than react.  When you react to stress, you are letting yourself feel the associated ill-effects in your body.  But when you respond to it, you are positively acting on working out the given situation.

Exercise: even the most stressed-out person who goes for a brisk walk or jog will feel the benefit.  Exercise may clear your mind of any negative clutter, and help you to make some sense of where you are at.  

Solutions: look for solutions instead of dwelling on problems.  Problems never seem to get resolved, whereas solutions are the light at the end of the tunnel.

Seek help: tell yourself “I’m worth it” over and over again.  It’s up to you to rescue yourself - nobody else can do that for you. So take that first step and ask for help.  Tell yourself that you love yourself enough to be here living life in every moment, wholly connected to the true loving being that you are.